Dave Brook is not a scrooge, but while visiting his friend in another town last week he sure felt like one. The 43-year-old sales manager didn’t like the idea of dining at a fancy steakhouse, where a sirloin can set you back $40. Instead, Brook suggested a less expensive place to his friend. After the dinner there was a feeling of awkwardness between Dave and his friend.
“Times are tough and no one’s job is safe, it would have been wasteful to pay over $100 on dinner,” says Brook. His reasoning didn’t resonate with his friend though. “My friend thought I was cheap and subsequently ruin a good time for him.”
Aliah Hussain , a 35-year-old Technical Sales Specialist in New York, says she’s often feels uncomfortable when a old acquaintance constantly talks about how much money she makes. “She’s always bragging about her commissions, or how much spends shopping without limits,” says Aliah . “I wonder to myself, does she even know that we’re in a recession?”
During times of recession , socializing requires more attention and tact. Whether you’re on Dave Brook’s situation, trying to save some money while not looking stingy, or you are one of the fortunate who still has the freedom to spend, it is prudent to pay attention to what is appropriate to talk about openly. In a recession, conspicous consumption might be down, but it’s not dead. There are people out there spending money on everything from beauty creams to 10 course dinners
What is OK to talk about and what is not?
“Proper consideration is about making people feel comfortable, we all have to be a bit more sensitive when talking about money and spending right now,” says an etiquette professional. “If you are wealthy and lucky enough to get a professional back massage twice a month, that’s not something you talk about to a person, unless you are positive that the other person is in the same situation. If the other person is not, then there will be ill feelings. Sensitivity is the key.”
During the the boom years, most people are enjoying some benefits of good business and wealth so it is less risky to talk freely about spending, but during a recession or tough economic times talking about wealth and freely spending money may irk some people that have lost their jobs or need to cut back on spending. Mentioning that you bought a second summer home or that you’re planning an expensive vacation this summer should be avoided.
Items You Should Not Talk About Right Now
1. Summer Rentals
Demand is down for summer rentals, which means many properties will be discounted. . If you plan on taking advantage of the reduced prices, don’t make a big deal out of it. Instead, invite your less-fortunate friends down for a weekend of relaxation and inexpensive recreation.
2. Vacations
You’re probably still planning at least one vacation for 2009. In fact, 82% of Americans with annual household incomes over $75,000 intend to travel during the first half of 2009, according to a December 2008 surveys conducted . It’s important to be sensitive around those who might be cutting back or skipping a holiday altogether. Only discuss the basic plans for your trip.
3. Spa Treatments
Manicures, pedicures and facials are still popular, according to the International Spa Association, which says that the number of spas operating in the U.S. grew 24%, from 14,600 in 2007 to 18,100 in 2008. Many consumers have cut back, visiting the aesthetician every three months instead of once a month. It’s best to keep your indulgences to yourself.
4. Jewelry
While some companies in the jewelry industry are faltering–Tiffany, for example, saw a 20% decrease in sales in the last quarter of 2008–the very high end continues to succeed. If a friend inquires about your latest purchase, play down its lavishness.
5. Cars
U.S. sales for Rolls Royce increased by 26.6% over 2008, which means that more of us than ever are investing in these six-figure vehicles. But bragging about your new ride is no longer kosher, because it’s likely that many of your friends have traded down in terms of luxury.
If you are one of the lucky ones who have kepted your high paying job and was not laid off, or you are just wealthy and well off try focusing on those around you. Talk about how they’re doing, what they’ve been up to, instead of telling stories from your latest expensive shopping spree.
In tough economic times we all need to be more sensitive about other peoples choices in terms of how they want to save money and cut back spending. If Dave Brooks for example wants to save money by eating at another restaurant instead of paying for a $100 steak dinner, that should be respected…we can’t expect other people to spend money that they don’t have.
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